Weird Dream

I am no stranger to weird dreams, but I seem to be having them more often as of late. I was describing to Heather my latest weird dream and she said I should make it a blog entry, so here it goes.

This latest dream stars Heather, and it was one that I woke up with this morning.

The dream starts where I am visiting Heather at this fancy resort that she is staying at. As I approach her she is standing on a plush field of luscious green grass holding onto this HUGE funnel thing that looks a bit like a water tower. It is attached by all of these wires of squishy containers that bend and fold kind of like the exhaust containers that they plug into fire engines after they pull them into the station. Inside of it is a specially formulated fancy meal made especially for Gracie and Aspen (her dogs). She calls me over as she pushes this button on the side of the funnel and out comes a perfectly portioned meal for her dogs. They eat it up gratefully as it is filled with yummy goodness such as fresh meats, rice and vegetables.

I then ask Heather where this resort is located (although this is a bit strange to me as I came there, right? Why don't I know where the resort is). It gets a bit fuzzy from here as I try to see the location on a map, and as anyone knows me I have NO sense of direction - and strangely enough it is no better in my dreams.

Apparently I give up at finding the resort's location as Heather is taking me on a tour of the resort. We stop at the women's locker room which is like no locker room I have imagined. Inside, Heather states that she has to use the facilities, so I take a seat in the lounge area to wait. However, never have I experienced what happened next.

I walk into the lounge area which is furnished with comfortable leather sofas and a couple of flat screen LCD tvs playing some kind of movie that I cannot recall at this time. It kind of looks like the inside to Heather and Danny's spa where people can be entertained while their wait their turn to be pampered. There are other women there, so I take a seat and watch the movie. The women are all eating treats of some kind, pastries, cookies, cakes...I have no idea where they got them, and they are a bit catty in their conversations so I decide to patiently wait for Heather without engaging in any kind of a conversation.

Meanwhile, as Heather is using the bathroom, and I do mean AS she is using the bathroom, she has also engaged in a strange kind of baking competition. She is inside making all kinds of treats, cookies and cupcakes, and all kinds of yummy treats. Apparently as the other women are in their respective stalls they are all baking in this prestigious and unique competition. When the timer goes off, the competition ends and Heather emerges, as only perfectionist Heather can do, as the winner of this rather strange baking competition. She glides out of the stall with a shining silver plate of delicate morsels expertly made and decorated. Of course, as in ANY baking competition, design and presentation is of the utmost importance and Heather knows this and has complied to the fullest extent. Heather smiles this big toothy grin as she emerges, and if I didn't know better I could swear I saw a sparkle glinting off her teeth.

Heather glides out into the open lounge, not unlike Lucille Ball on "I Love Lucy", as she stops just shy of the leather sofas where we are all staying. She offers some treats to me, which for some strange reason I am about to take when the catty girl next to me snatches a few pastries off of Heather's precious plate and devours them. She makes some kind of comment which again is a bit fuzzy as I have been awake now for some time, and the details are being lost on me. This girl's actions and comments enrage Heather, but as Heather is known to do, she keeps her cool and glides away to a rather dark stainless steel kitchen a short distance away. (Don't ask me why she cooked in a bathroom stall when there was a perfectly good kitchen just outside the lounge. I have no idea...I told you my dream was strange).

Anyway, attached to this kitchen is a LCD tv screen (small and indiscreet in nature). Heather looks at me and stated that she was going to mark the catty girl down on her baking results by using the touchscreen feature on the LCD tv screen, but just as she is about to she stops and laughs. She looks at me again and says "If I mark her down then I will lose my standing as 1st place, so I'm going to leave her where she is".

For some reason this is normal to me, and we walk outside the women's locker room into a mall where Heather walks in to inspect some gloves that she see in a shop window. She puts a beautiful pair of gloves on and out seeps frosting of different colors. Now I am bit thrown back by this as it seems quite impractical and sticky to me, but Heather is so excited as this is EXACTLY what she was looking for to give her the edge on the baking competitions. (Since Heather uses the bathroom often she partakes in the competitions a lot, and has become very serious about perfecting her baking skills. These gloves are specially designed gloves that when you put them on, frosting comes out the fingertips to make it easier for decorating. How this makes it easier, I do not know, and I apparently don't question it as the walls of the mall disappear and we are standing out on some farmland where baby chickens are running around.

They are so cute and cuddly looking as they chirp around the farm grounds. Heather then asks me which chick I want. Perplexed I inquire as to what for...after all I have two cats and two dogs, I don't need a baby chicken too. She says (and this is the weirdest part of all) that you can pick a chick and they take fat out of your body (in locations of your choice) and inject it into the chicken of your choice. These chickens continue to live fat and happy on this farmland, and apparently quite enjoy the injections. I guess it is a little like botox only with fat and for chickens.

It is about this point that I hear crying, and it takes me a moment to wake up and realize that the crying is actually happening, and announcing that Kiya is awake and ready to be fed. Then Dave walks in the bedroom and tells me it's time to get up too. I am still reeling from my dream and trying to figure out what is happening. You see, I dream in vivid colors and it feels VERY real to me. When I was younger I used to have to pinch myself to see if I was really awake or not because I couldn't tell the difference. I begrudgingly get up to start my day. Unfortunately, I look down at my body and realize that I woke up just a wee bit too soon. I woke up before the fat disappeared off my body and was injected into my tiny chicken. :P Yep. I know I'm weird, but at least I'm not the one winning baking competitions in the bathroom. :)