Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Forgetfulness - A Pregnancy Effect or Just Old Age?

I have heard that pregnant women tend to forget things, or have moments of memory loss, but this is getting RIDICULOUS. Last week, I was in a team meeting, and trailed off in mid sentence. I completely forgot what I was going to say. I was so embarrassed. I just looked at my team and apologized and said, "I'm sure it will come to me sooner or later".

The worst was today. I have a carabiner that I keep all of my keys on. I am trying to be responsible and I heard that if you have a lot of weight hanging on your ignition starter it isn't good for your car. So of course, being the responsible person that I am I take the specific key (in this case to the car) and use just that. I haven't had a problem until recently, but today was ESPECIALLY bad.

I picked up Caiden from school, and I was urging him to hurry so we could get home before it became too dark for him to ride his jeep (he LOVES to ride his jeep and asks everyday to ride it). Caiden, being the perfect child that he is, complies and gets in the car. All would have been fine and we would be driving merrily down the freeway towards our house except for the fact that when I sit down to get in the driver's seat I discover that I don't have any car keys. Oh, I have the keys to the other vehicles, and to work...yes they are safe on my carabiner. But the keys to the car that I am driving...nope...gone. Now comes the bad part...I can't for the LIFE OF ME remember what I did with them, or when I even had them last.

I will walk you through the steps I took to get to this stage. I get out of the car, walk into Caiden's school. Pay his tuition. See the keys on the counter. Pick up the keys. Sign Caiden out. Go to his class. Pick up Caiden. Go to the car. (and here is where it all gets fuzzy and blank).

And when I mean blank I mean like black-out blank. I mean, If I were a drinker I could see this being a problem, but seriously I don't even LIKE the taste of alcohol, let alone the fact that I am pregnant. It was like I had an attack of amnesia. Now I am starting to panic a bit. With furrowed brow, I look around the car, I look in the car, under the car. Finally resign myself to getting Caiden back out of the car seat to go inside and look for the keys inside. Sigh. *Maybe I dropped them and I didn't hear them fall - I think to myself*. Caiden and I go back inside to look for the keys. The car is now unlocked (I can't lock it because I won't be able to get back in). My computer and all important things are in my unlocked car. So in addition to being frustrated and completely and utterly confused, I am nervous that some unknown person is going to use this lapse of judgment to steal my valuables, including but not limited to my car. After all, and effective criminal doesn't need keys.

I wander into Caiden's school dazed and confused. The remaining teachers are kind, but they want to go home too. They all help me look (including opening the slot where we put the tuition - which is like a slit large enough to put a check, but who knows...maybe I unknowingly shoved the stinking keys in the slot as a donation for their hard work). No one can find it. They want to go home. I FEEL it. Their eyes burning into the back of my head as they shake their heads and whisper "Poor thing".

Now I am a "poor thing"...how pathetic I am. I try and run the day's events over in my head starting with when I arrived at the school to when I picked up Caiden (literally 10 minutes) and it's gone. My brain cannot process it. It's like it never happened. Now I am COMPLETELY confused and frustrated. I don't know when the last time I had the keys; other than when I wrote the check for his tuition, and I have no idea how I unlocked the car to get us to the point where I was putting Caiden IN the car seat, or did I never lock the car in the first place. What is the extent of my irresponsibility. I am second guessing myself at every move.

45 minutes later, I am STILL looking for the keys. I have now cleaned out my purse not one, not two, but three times with witnesses (each person didn't trust that I did a thorough job and they want to go home, so they stood before me like a guard in a prison). Frankly, I don't blame them...I can't remember what happened in the last 10 minutes, how can I be trusted to have looked through my purse.

My car is now clean (except for the crumbs of crackers on the floor of the car), still no keys. Finally the last teacher has locked up and is going home. She comes out to look through my car with me. I am beyond frustrated and trying not to think about having to call Dave to come and rescue me by getting in the car and driving the 2 hours to come pick Caiden and I up. I finally break down and call Dave. Dave sighs and says to call him when I find them because he doesn't feel like driving out to get us. I don't blame him.

I search and search. FINALLY, I FIND THEM!!!! They are underneath the driver's seat. I have NO idea how they got there because I had towels and two jackets in the back which would prevent entry of the keys under the seat. I ponder this for a moment and then sigh. Forget it...it's not worth thinking about it anymore. I happily call up Dave to report that I found the keys and we are on our way home.

I turn on the car, feeling somewhat good as I now have a way to get back home, and all is right with the world again. Then a small voice echoes from the back seat.

"Mama...is it dark yet". Sadness engulfs me as I realize that by the time we get home it will be too dark for Caiden to ride his jeep, and this is his way of asking if he can still ride it. I sadly look into the back seat and humbly say "Yes, Caiden it is. Mama is SO sorry". He sighs and says in the most pathetic, sad and resigned, but simultaneously cute voice "Ohhhh".

And there it is...the guilt that I believe I will feel forever that I let down my child.

*Nah...I'm not overly dramatic...I'm just pregnant* :)

4 comments:

annie Shafai said...

I have soooo been there.

Wendy said...

It is truely some kind of pregnancy thing but I think it continues on into like the first year after giving birth also. Glad you found your keys.

Pam said...

Wow, I've never actually searched for close to an hour. That sucks.

butterflydreams said...

It's a multi-tasking mom thing not a pregnant thing. Remember when I locked my children in the car at cost-co days after I had Chrisina thankfully it was October and not too hot.
I put the keys in the diaper bag so I would not lock them in the car, then I relized I didn't unlock the passenger side. I had to call 911 (on a pay-phone) the fire department didn't want to break the window just yet no he wanted to teach my 2 year old how to get out of his car seat by self and unlock the door for us.