I'm having food anxiety. I am obsessed with food, but at the same time I don't want to eat because I am afraid of gaining weight. Before you worry, don't. I am eating. Boy, am I eating. That's the problem. I just don't get it. When I was pregnant, I practically ate whatever I wanted and I didn't seem to gain weight (except of course for the baby weight). Now that I am not pregnant and am breastfeeding (which is supposed to help the metabolism) I am gaining weight rather than losing weight. It's just not fair.
I am trying to eat healthy, although I know I have had some slip-ups too. I even tried to exercise a bit which has been hard since my back is on the fritz. I'm afraid to overdo it and not be able to move again. :(
Heather told me I should start a food journal, but I don't know about that. I don't want to make food an issue for me. Then I will get even more obsessive about it, and I don't want to go down that road.
I am getting really frustrated though. The only thing I can think of is that when I was working and pregnant I was always running around, I was stressed and I worked myself to the bone. Since I was constantly moving and stressed I worked off anything that I ate that was bad. Since I've been home, I have been happy, relaxed and had a complete lack of stress (except for the normal life stresses), but can't seem to keep the weight off.
I truly have been trying to eat healthier too. For instance, for lunch today I completely avoided the foods I wanted to eat. Instead, I ate wheat tortillas with spinach, thinly sliced cheese and 95% fat free Turkey. For dinner I had wheat spaghetti pasta with lean turkey and sliced mushroom pasta sauce.
What I wanted to eat...
What I ate... Lunch - whole wheat tortillas, spinach, turkey and cheese
Dinner - Whole wheat pasta, ground lean turkey and mushroom pasta sauce
Clearly eating healthier is not helping. I was hoping that it would be a start though. Shoot, I'm almost ready to start posting my weight, so I will be shamed into losing it. Ha. I'm not that desperate yet, but I'm open to suggestions. So if you've got them, I'd love to hear them.
4 comments:
Food anxiety... Welcome to my world. Its been a big issue of mine ever since surgery. I am obsessed with never gaining the weight back so instead of being an obsessive/compulsive over-eater I am now an obsessive/compulsive food worrier. I stress over everything I put in my mouth. I have found that Weight Watchers has really helped me; mentally and physically. Both when I was trying to lose weight from Charlie and just on a daily basis. I use their online membership. Its great and I highly recommend it.
Hmmm, that food doesn't look very appetizing. Is this what I have to look forward to?
I think the food you ate looks much better than the food you wanted to eat!
You are doing great Melissa! Keep it up!!
P.S.
I think you are skinny
Hey Melissa. I wouldn't worry about it. I really believe the saying of 9 months on and 9 months off. The weight will come off... just give it some time.
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